How to Get the Most from Your Shoes


Sadly, this is based on a true story. A story involving shoes, shoe Goo and a sharpie. I am all about class.

(Added 8-19) I AM WEARING PANTS IN PANEL 4!! It's not a great drawing, but that's what pants do when you affect that pose. Either I'm weating pants and they're wrinkling a bit, or my left inner thigh has shark gills. Take a picture of yourself in that pose and see if your pants hang well.

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Reader Comments (103)

Want to hear an oxymoron? All the panels stood out in this strip. But 2 had me laughing out loud, and the visual on 4 was amazing. I vote next strip is completely pants free. For Scott only. Otherwise, that would be weird.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGonzo

Are you wearing pants in the last panel?? Or just socks and shoes?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMLock

Pantsless Scott...some things can't be unseen....

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLayne

Re: panel 1. If I had stepped on broken glass earlier in the day I would have paid more attention to where I put my feet for the rest of the day, along with most people, and would therefore not have trodden in the poop. I hope I'm not being insensitive, for you to have had that happen it must have been a truly awful day, like maybe your ex-wife hired a skywriter and a bottle-of-poop-smasher to follow you around.

Plus, I hope in panel 4, that his new indestructible shoes have antiseptic properties because the prospect of having fecal matter injected into my feet via broken glass would not make my doctor happy.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentersimon

put some pants on!

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermattxpirate

Scott, don't feel bad, I have also used a Sharpie on my shoes to avoid buying new ones.

Oh, and my new favorite adjective is now "pre-destructed." Thanks for being so awesome.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermoojen

Are you pantsless in that last frame?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMark

um... where are his pants??? Why is he walking arouind with no pants??

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEtP

Scott, I'm glad you're wearing shoes on panel 4, but you know, pants would be a good complement...

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChristophe Thill

Is it just me or does it look like he's not wearing pants in the last slide?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Umm, are you wearing pants in the last frame? Which makes me wonder: are you wearing pants in the first frame? And did you stop to put them on before you went to the store?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBoxman

Is it me, or does it look like Scott has no pants in the last panel?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephen

I just had to lay to rest a pair of shoes I've had for 9 years, my favorite pair ever. I held a small memorial service at the trash can. Few attended. And yes, I hummed "Taps".

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAJOB

Is Scott wearing pants in that last panel. EEEEK!

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBart

What happened to your pants, you didn't address that part of your day?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTom NC

It looks like he's not wearing pants in #4

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjared

OMG!!! LOL!!! I need to stop reading this at work. I could hurt something trying to hold in the laughter! The second panel is AWESOME and not just because I was thinking that before I read it. Nope, that is so not the reason.

Scott, feel free to edit this next part out:
In your last panel, do I say this discreetly....the rendition of your pants while you are holding up your shoe gives the impression of hugging your leg soooo much that I had to look for clues that you actually had pants on.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAC

First panel is brilliant..."It's not been a good day."

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

Are you trying to make it look like he's wearing white Spandex pants?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGuy

I thought you were wearing no pants in panel 4.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

Funny, I've done almost the same thing, using a sharpie to color in the wear marks on shirt collars...

on a side first glance of panel 4, it looked like you had no pants on. Thought that was a pretty funny way to show off your shoes.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBill

How... How did you go shopping without pants? I know most places only say "shirt and shoes required", but you may have taken their instructions a bit too literally.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjbabb

At best you are wearing tights, pants would not show how cut (or un-cut) your thighs and calves are.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChuck

"Either I'm weating pants and they're wrinkling a bit, or my left inner thigh has shark gills." -- Holy crap! Your left inner thigh has shark gills?!? That's crazy!

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSumocat

when I saw the title of this comic, the first thing I thought of was my old Mark Knopfler records. Quality Shoe

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAndy

My boyfriend and I have had an iteration of the conversation in panel 2. He wanted to cover his feet in tar to circumvent future shoe-buying episodes.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergrrillaesthete

how many white or skin-colored pairs of pants do you own?

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertoby s.

Never wear white pants in your comic strip. People will think you aren't wearing any pants, and you have shark gills on the inside of your thigh.

Go for the gray.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSue

Back in the 80's someone gave me a subscription to an economics magazine for kids, I think it may have been called Penny Pincher? Anyway, one issue had an article about making your old tennis shes look nice again: with Shoe Goo and markers. I think they also recommended white-out for scuffed white shoes.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrobin

I find that putting on a thin layer of shoe goo, then coloring it with marker, then another thin layer of goo, and so on, produces a pretty good toe cap. (I use this on my workboots) Sadly, it doesn't work for fixing holes in the soles.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDee

Another solution: don't wear shoes. Within a few days, I guarantee you'll watch where you're going, and avoid things like broken glass, and dog shit.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertom

He can protest all he wants, but pants have cuffs.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjeric

Shhh! Its funnier if you just admit you aren't wearing pants. We won't judge you. Sometimes you just gotta free ball when constructing a beaver damn out of shoe goo.

August 19, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjustincrb

HE'S NOT WEARING PANTS IN PANEL 4!!!!!11!111OMFG!!!1!!!11!!!11!!!!!!!!

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAtheismo

Now we know who wears the pants in the family.

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMM

I enjoyed the comic. I LOVED the qualifier "I AM WEARING PANTS IN PANEL 4!!"

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrian Wardale

I don't care what you say, when I read the comic my first reaction was, "Why did he not wear pants while fixing his shoes?"

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBourbonman

OK, you're wearing pants in panel 4. Still, that is a horrible pose for the shadow puppet game...

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLee

"Do you stay married in this theory?" Just cost me a keyboard, coffe shooting out my nose shorted it out. THANKS!

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSillyus

LOL, I almost got as much of a laugh of all the comments about the panel 4 as the comic itself!

The pants I wear hang down a bit at the ankle so there is no hugging of the leg about from the calf down.

I REALLY hope you understand, Scott, that I (and I think many others by the posts) do not think badly of you. I for one live in a glass house so I don't throw stones. You have a talent that you are sharing that I enjoy.

August 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAC
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